Discussion on family education: what parents want children?100 people there are 100 kinds of family education methods, our ancestors were in a family under the separate State education growing up. We found a lot of the methods and experience of the individual cannot be universally applied, we have to find a family with a regular thing, can be followed by the public.
If parents establish absolute liability in children, parents to love their children, parents of all criticism, praised the departure was for their own good, if children are to completely believe in the subconscious, so this relationship is healthy, mutual care, mutual support and mutual understanding of relationships. In this case, all the children the most simple things, great Soviet educator, Su was quoted as saying that "the child grew up with." However, most of real life parent-child relationship is not stable, or are distorted, kids didn't really trust parents.
What do parents really want children accomplish tasks?
there are too many parents focus on their children's learning, but it mainly is the school thing. There are many parents at school, should do something, just on the go, such as helping children with homework, check your child's homework, and supervision of children. But in the end futile effort. I think a lot of parents are raffish, we planted the land on the other, and their fields. Not to do good things to do. As parents, we want to complete the mission is to foster a child's self-esteem, confidence, sense of responsibility, initiative and enterprising spirit, interest in learning and good practice. This is the child of the six core software, if not handled well, children are doomed to fail.
first software to be inserted into the child's life is "pride"
when the children respect for themselves, people who regarded themselves as equal with others to respect when child's personality was built up. Self-esteem is the spiritual backbone of the personality of the child. If a child does not build up self-esteem, he would not care how others see him, he doesn't know how to read other people's eyes, he will not take the time to study the rules of conduct that he wouldn't seek the respect and recognition of others, and thus had no ambition. To educate children through criticism is of no significance. Because he doesn't care about your opinions, your criticism does not work for him. No self-respecting child would not take the initiative to participate in group activities, lack of respect for others, do not respect yourself, have no desire to stand out in the group. It should be said that fire of self-esteem is a child's life, is the origin of child development. Self-esteem is not established, it means that children did not ignite the fire of life, so he will not have an engine for growth.
child self-esteem is the best way to respect children, children as people and their full equality of treatment. When the parents respect their children's time, he begins to respect yourself, then he'll treat people with respect. His "people" to start the process. Child self-esteem is the second important way to love children. When parents love their children unconditionally, when child's self worth will rise, he started to feel good, and will produce a better power.
software is the second child of "confidence"
for parents to develop children's confidence, cannot be said to be a lifelong task, at least the tasks of the child before the age of 25. Before children leave parents, like love and eye care for children of parents with confidence. Confidence is a dynamic process that is a continuous build process. That means one cannot always have confidence once and for all, he has time to develop their self-confidence.
self-confidence is the subjective state of mind of a person to do something. Have confidence he can play to their ability or potential and get things done. If metaphorically speaking, self-confidence is equivalent to the computer into the main operational sequence of the preceding procedure. If a child has no confidence, when he faced a problem when, his brain into a subsystem, program to start doing the calculations is how to explain why not, why not. Have confidence when entering the main operational sequence, his brain's attention will focus on problem-solving methods, after a period of reflection can always work the problem out. So the confidence was a child can do things (learning), the core can do the right thing and mental processes.
of course, confidence is not the head we all understand that simple. It is people do Shi of psychological operation program: a confidence of pupils, he face questions Shi, brain will in-depth problem of internal to running, to find conditions and results of causal relationship, put problem do on; if didn't confidence of children, see problem can go up or down Shang will stay students problem of surface, feel problem brings of pressure and anxious of mood, then will wants to: this problem how so difficult? Teacher why the topic? I do not see how my mom would grant me? Results in 20 minutes, he did not become a problem, and was thinking about something else and feel the pain. Finally he came to discuss: do you think I'm not good at math, I'm not!
third spirit software is "responsibility"
responsibility is a child know that he and others of the relationship between the subjective state of mind. When a person acts with someone else's pain and joy a causal link, contact yourself on this value when production responsibility. A child speech affected the other students in the class, if he has the sense not to talk in class.
responsibilities are divided into internal and external accountability. External sense of responsibility to others, to their families and to society. Our children about their responsibility, too many of our parents have established responsibility in the children, not to make children responsible for their own actions, then we charge to force, so that the responsibility borne by the parents of the child to life. Parents when the police, the children became thieves, we constantly monitor later. If the child establish the sense of responsibility we may terminate parental supervision functions. Sense not established, one of the children is flatly impossible to aggressive! Child becomes passive, parents pushed him to move it.
fourth mental software is "active spirit"
If your child wants to grow, I will learn, child education is too simple a thing. Soviet educator su believes that the "study" is a mental, mental characteristics is that workers must be "active" in order to learn better. If there is no active and enterprising spirit, children are not learning well. Under the conditions of market economy, if we do not have foster children's entrepreneurial spirit, in the future of children is flatly impossible to succeed in life. Did not take the initiative and enterprising spirit, means that a child isn't interested in life, a life without interest, self-interested, not interested in everything, the whole depressed, then the child is unlikely to grow in spirit.
the fifth spirit software is "interest"
I have read written by Soviet educator in College learning and interest in the book, after reading suddenly. The basic concept is that there: interest is learned, not inborn.
so-called interest is a time when children are doing such an Act, he could feel the pleasure without the willpower to push yourself to do, called interest became automatic reaction. If a child in the cerebral nervous system, do a discipline arising from the work of conditioned happiness, interest is created. This habit is cultivated, kids first time to do this is not going to have any fun, repeatedly, and finally without the willpower and conditioning to do the right, again because of their parents ' praise, encouragement, children find happiness, a long time, and became automatic reaction, every time that a child can find the resort free of feeling. At this point, the so-called interest is created.
we have too many parents think it is better for children's willpower, exceptional children is not by an effort of actually learning to learn. Children reading to one or two o ' clock in the evening, because there is interest in reading, can't sleep, don't feel tired. If by sheer force was categorically unable to! We conclude that for a child, to make children learn better, cultivate interest in learning is a prerequisite, was the first. Learning to train kids and parents is needed.
sixth spirit software is "good habits"
habits that don't have willpower can make automatic response. Good habit is one fast-the fast track to success. Real people who make a living by learning, such as many excellent master's and doctoral students, professors, and no one is the will to learn. A habit of deciding his daily behavior, and the daily flight of his achievements.
summarized this view, our task of parents is in the child's brain set in the software. Parents like the program input, children like the computer, the hard disk has not been formatted, enter the program needs a road before it can be used independently. Children who only became independent, was able to walk normally in society!